"Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me ...” (Matthew 10:37-39)

"Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” (Matthew 10:37-39)

What did Jesus mean by 'take up their cross'?

Did Jesus really say "take up their cross and follow me"? Is he recommending that all his followers walk around with crosses as though they are heading to their crucifixion?

Don't be ridiculous. The cross that Jesus was forced to drag to his persecution was so heavy he could not lift it. He had to drag it. And certainly, Jesus is not recommending his followers all drag crosses around.

The Greek word being translated to "cross" is σταυρός (stauros). While it can be construed as a "cross" through interpretation, the strict definition of the word is "an upright "stake", esp. a pointed one, used as such in fences or palisades" according to the lexicon.

Jesus is referring to "stakes" that are typically put in grape vineyards. These are put in to hold up the grapes. Other types of stakes will hold up trees or fences.

And the phrase "take up" is being translated from the Greek word λαμβάνω (lambanō) which means, "to take with the hand, lay hold of, any person or thing in order to use it;" "to take up a thing to be carried;" "to take upon one's self."

Jesus is using a metaphorical phrase that is still in use today:

"to pull up stakes"

When one speaks of "pulling up stakes" they are metaphorically referring to leaving their current place or abode and leaving. They are not talking about literally "pulling up some stakes." This phrase originated in ancient times when landowners who moved from their land would take the stakes that held up their vines, trees and fences with them to the next place. They were leaving behind their home and going to a new one.

And Jesus is using this phrase to indicate that he wants his followers to metaphorically leave their old consciousness - that consciousness whereby they are the most important person in their life - and follow him. Jesus wants them to redirect their love and their devotion towards the Supreme Being - expressed by putting their love and devotion upon His representative.

The last phrase of Jesus' statement confirms this:

"Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

Jesus is stating that should his followers "pull up stakes" on their old consciousness - they will find a renewed life in following Jesus.

What is Jesus' takeaway message?

As their teacher and the messenger of God, Jesus is teaching his followers that the passageway to the kingdom of God is following and dedicating one's life to his teachings.

This might be compared to how a government might respond to a visiting ambassador of another country. If the ambassador tells the government what it takes to establish better relations, the government then has a choice. It can follow the ambassador's recommendations or it can boot out the ambassador and deal with the foreign government in a hostile manner.

In the same way, Jesus taught how his followers could re-establish their relationship with God and how they could learn to love God.

Jesus is not saying that our love for him excludes the Supreme Being. Neither is he saying that he is the Supreme Being. This is confirmed in another statement Jesus made:

“Not everyone who says to me ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.” (Matthew 7:22)

What is the link? The link is that Jesus is also doing the will of the Supreme Being:

"For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of Him who sent me." (John 6:38)

This means that if Jesus is doing the will of the Supreme Being, those who follow Jesus' instructions will also be doing the will of the Supreme Being.

This is a very personal relationship. This is altogether missed by many who are focused upon sectarian institutionalism. In their fervor, they are missing the intimate loving relationship between Jesus and the Supreme Being. This is communicated throughout the four Gospels, including texts such as:

"By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but Him who sent me." (John 5:30)

and

“Abba, Father, everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what You will.” (Mark 14:36)

This means that as Jesus is asking his followers to put their love upon him, he is seeing himself as not the beloved, but the representative of the beloved - the person doing the will of the ultimate beloved - the Supreme Being.

This is confirmed by Jesus' most important instruction:

" 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment." (Matt. 22:37-38)

“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself ...” (Matthew 16:24-25)

“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.” (Matthew 16:24-25)

What does Jesus mean by 'come after me'?

The phrase, "come after me," is being translated from the Greek phrase, ὀπίσω μου ἐλθεῖν. This means to follow or follow in someone's footsteps.

Jesus isn't referring to those who literally 'come after' him. He isn't describing someone who would chase after him as he was walking. Nor is he describing someone who would follow him around like a lost puppy.

Jesus is referring to someone who would follow his spiritual teachings: He is describing a follower of his precepts and doctrine.

Jesus' life and teachings indicate that he is God's loving servant. And he taught that if we became loving servants of God we would become fulfilled. Those who follow his teachings are thus those that "come after me."

How would a follower of Jesus 'deny himself'?

The phrase, "deny himself" is being translated from the Greek word, ἀπαρνέομαι (aparneomai) - which means, according to Thayer's lexicon, "to forget one's self, lose sight of one's self and one's own interests."

This means Jesus is speaking of the opposite of self-centeredness. Self-centeredness means to orient our focus and objectives in life around ourselves - or the supposed extensions of ourselves, the family of our physical body.

Self-centeredness, in fact, is the primary cause of the suffering that occurs within the physical world. All the bloodshed, greed, and violence that occurs is a product of self-centeredness - those who consider their bodies or the bodies of their family and/or country or other organization of more importance than those of others.

In fact, the physical world itself is a product of self-centeredness. It is the reason we each are here in the physical world in the first place: Because we became self-centered.

The spiritual world is a place of God-centeredness. It is a place of love among its residents. The central goal is to please the Supreme Being and work for the welfare of the Supreme Being's children.

But because love also requires freedom, each of us has the choice to love or not. Those of us who have decided not to love became self-centered. This is created by the emptiness of not loving others.

We all need to love and care for someone. It is our nature. But if our love is not directed to the Supreme Being and His children, that creates a hole, or emptiness. 

Such an emptiness creates self-centeredness. This is how we fall out of the spiritual realm and take on these temporary physical bodies. We become residents of the temporary physical world to exercise our self-centeredness, and to learn lessons of love.

In this world, we have no opportunity to see the spiritual realm and the Supreme Being with the physical eyes and mind. This effectively satisfies our desire to be away from the Supreme Being and chase our concepts of self-centered happiness.

What does 'take up his cross and follow me' mean?

This is a mistranslation. Why would Jesus speak of the cross? Certainly, when he spoke this he had not met with his crucifixion. Is he suggesting that his followers all be crucified?

Don't be ridiculous. Jesus did not even carry his own cross. A fellow named Simon of Cyrene was forced to carry the cross that Jesus was crucified with according to Mark 15:21. 

Jesus is not speaking of his or anyone else's cross here.

The word "cross" is being translated from the Greek word σταυρός (stauros), which can mean a cross, but also means, according to the lexicon, "an upright "stake", esp. a pointed one, used as such in fences or palisades."

The most common use for the "stake" was to prop up grapevines, as well as fences and trees. These stakes were also removable and could be moved to different vines or trees as needed.

In fact, we still maintain the expression that refers to what Jesus is talking about:

"pulling up stakes"

To "pull up stakes" is a metaphor that refers to a person leaving a particular plot or field, or their current home or land. It comes from the time when farmers or landowners would take the stakes they had used to prop up their vines, trees, and fences with them and move. Or they could move them to a different field of vines.

This is what Jesus is referring to. He is metaphorically stating that if anyone wants to follow him, he must be prepared to give up a life of self-centeredness. This means "pulling up stakes" from the various concerns and objectives we have and redirecting our lives towards coming to know, love, and serve the Supreme Being.

This is certainly what Jesus did. He left his home and began traveling to preach to others.

Does this mean that we have to leave our homes and our families in order to follow Jesus? Not necessarily. Jesus is asking that we give up the notion that they are our real homes, and our sense that they belong to us; and our thinking that they will fulfill us.

What does 'whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it' mean?

"Loses his life" is not referring to our physical body. It does not refer to the body being killed or murdered or committing suicide. Jesus is speaking of leaving behind a life of self-centeredness.

Currently, our lives are absorbed by ourselves. We are always thinking of our own welfare. The status of our physical well-being, what others think of us, how wealthy or powerful we are. This is the consciousness that Jesus wants us to depart from.

Leaving that consciousness behind means putting the Supreme Being first in our lives. Leaving behind our self-centeredness for Jesus means putting God first in our lives. This is to follow Jesus.

God-centeredness is the key to happiness. Those who seek self-centered happiness never find it. Rather, one who leaves behind self-centeredness and seeks to come to know, love, and serve the Supreme Being and His children will find happiness even though he is not seeking it.